![]() Let me be frank Don’t start beef with the Frank Who hangs with B. I'll not be taught camaraderie From a frog who rigged the lottery You make a mockery of ethics So keep your fat nose in your coffee Sacré bleu, Socrates! You’re making things a little tense Come, let’s blind these chinese hinies With some shiny bright enlightenment ![]() Plebe, bitch? I’m toxic like a hemlock sip Hang a sandal on the door cause you can suck Soc’s dick The whole concept is that the watchers can suggest two persons that they want to see in a rap battle. I wouldn’t exactly call myself a student of this plebe Don’t make Nietzsche come over and put a knee up in your chi Cause I’m N-I-E-T-Z-S-C-H-E And I’ll end any motherfucker Like my name in a spelling bee Epic Rap Battles of History is a Youtube sensation by Nice Peter and Epic lloyd. And it all starts with you You’re the father, Socrates Honestly, I think you owe both of your students here an apology Let me be candide with you, Voltaire French drip with the egg noodle hair Your ego’s just so distracting Free speech doesn’t mean just keep yapping And you killed God, so I gotta ask Did he die of shame when he made your moustache? You try to plan a new german psyche But you just grew hate, me no third reichy Bitch, I wrote the Art of War so you better get your guns out These white boys getting burned ‘cause guess what? Now the Sun’s out Asians spitting sick But no, this isn’t SARS Laozi, kick the beat Now Confucius, drop some bars Now that we’ve covered the two yin and yang twins I can move onto Jackie Chan Sun Tzu, I’ll be picking apart your wu with my method, man This seminal general isn’t so tough on the mic All your men must be like Yo, what happened? You’re pitiful lyrically Lucky for history You didn’t author the art of rapping And I’m a freethinker So confronting conformists like you? It’s my job Got a sharp wit, like a spit that’ll skewer you Like a confu-shish-kebab! You flubbed the mission I'm beating your submissive ass into submission Dishing out more disses than letters and pamphlets and plays That I've been publishing Oh, I’ll give you something you can bow and kowtow to When I squat down and squeeze out a tao of pooh on Lao Tzu You need to take control of the life you’re given They call me Übermensch Cause I’m so driven We filled a nation With patience And the presence For living And you’ll never hold a candle to the wisdom we've written ![]() Hand you an ass-whipping our descendants will honor for generations ![]() While we use precise strikes to disrupt your concentration You westerners are sloppy, needing discipline in life You lack control of yourselves And of the mic This type of arrogance is sure to be expected From men who speak of wisdom with no clue of what respect is We got the wisdom And the wit That even I couldn't question Dropping western medicine On these east infections It's evident You've never been Our type of mental brethren, we're better Thinkers Better speakers Better lovers Better men I'm coming off the Acropolis to start some pandemonium Don't bring limp raps to a pimp slap symposium The mad gadfly, philosophy was my invention ![]()
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